She's JV to your varsity
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
