Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
