Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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