hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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