okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
