i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
