Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
