I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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