You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
