so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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