Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
