LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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