You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
