I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
