i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
