she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
