I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
