Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
