Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
