omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
how drunk are you?
Several
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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