i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
