you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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