felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
