I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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