I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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