If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
