I will die if light touches me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
