Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
