Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
