Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
