I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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