i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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