I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
