If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
