It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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