If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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