I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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