Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
