i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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