): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
