Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
