I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
