When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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