no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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