Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
