In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize