I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
