He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize