I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
