why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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