Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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