i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
