You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
