I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
