the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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