I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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