so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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