sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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