I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
