I need help removing her.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
