If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
COCAINE IS GR8
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
