I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
