party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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