WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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