I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
