no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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